As I work on social networks, I reference Alfred Adler’s theory of Individual Psychology, which he developed in the 1910s after parting ways with Sigmund Freud. Adler believed that most human problems stem from issues in our interpersonal relationships. He proposed that everyone is born with an inherent sense of inferiority, and we spend our lives striving to overcome it by seeking belonging and significance.

According to Adler, this drive for belonging and significance underpins our overall feeling of well being and is achieved through fulfilling three “life tasks”:

Work - Finding a fulfilling career that provides a sense of accomplishment and contributes to society.

Friendship - Cultivating and maintaining positive, supportive connections with peers.

Love - Deep, mutually respectful, and emotionally intimate relationships with a partner characterized by genuine trust and commitment.

If we assume Adler’s theory holds that humans have an innate desire to meet these life tasks and forge meaningful social bonds, it would seem natural for social networks to help us fulfill these needs. After all, they allow us to connect, share, and interact with others on a scale never before possible. Yet paradoxically, we’re seeing more evidence that social media undermines our well-being, leaving people feeling isolated or anxious.

Why might that be? Adler’s framework suggests an answer in his distinction between vertical and horizontal relationships. Vertical relationships are hierarchical—like parent:child, boss:employee, or coach:player - where one party asserts authority or control over the other.

Horizontal Relationships treat individuals as equals, emphasizing cooperation, shared goals, and mutual respect. Adler believed that, as humans, we need all of our relationships to be horizontal to find meaningful connections. It would allow us to recognize each other’s values without trying to dominate or be dominated. However, many social networking companies encourage vertical dynamics as they align with business objectives, measuring status through follower counts, “likes,” and other metrics that create a sense of competition. Instead of partnering to help each other achieve our life tasks, we often become preoccupied with managing impressions, comparing ourselves to others, and seeking external validation.

In this sense, social networking companies cannot exist in Adler’s vision of egalitarian, cooperative relationships. He explains that living with vertical relationships makes it impossible to establish horizontal ones. Adhering to the Adlerian theory and seeing others as your comrades means all of your relationships must be seen horizontally.

I often approach designing social dynamics the way they’d be approached in real world contexts. Referencing IRL mechanics are often the most human. I’m interested in how we can create social networking systems that encourage horizontal relationships but still align with business objectives. It’s difficult to point to examples right now…